Time is such a strange concept. Some days we wish it would pass by quickly,some days we wish it would slow down, and some days we wish for nothing more than the ability to turn it back or to move it forward.
This week has been one of those weeks where my mind is stuck in the past and I keep wanting to turn back the time. My thoughts were provoked by my Communications professor who was talking about old loves in class this week.(Disclaimer: I blame my communications teacher for beginning this whole thought process. Also, the guy that happened to look exactly like my ex-boyfriend who sat at the table next to mine at dinner on Saturday. Unfortunately, I cannot blame them for my mind continuing on in these thoughts.)
You see, I happen to have one of these old loves. I think about him from time to time(Usually when I see something or someone that reminds me of him). When I have these thoughts, I often wonder how he's doing. I wonder if he likes his job, how his school is going, and how his family is. I wonder if he is happy and if he ever thinks of me. I think about the time that we shared together and the fond memories that we had. I don't think of him very often, but when I do I always feel a strange tug at my heart and a yearning to relive those memories I have with him.
Sometimes when I think about him I wonder if he was the right person and that we just met at the wrong time. What if we had met now, in the present, in our current situations? What if we hadn't met when I was 17 and naive and while he was enduring some serious personal trials? What if our whole past could be erased and we could just start over fresh? What if?
And then it hit me...
Stop asking all the "What if?" questions. No one has the ability to go back in time and change the past or even control the future. I need to stop being like Lot's wife, looking back longingly. I need to look to the future with an eye of faith in knowing that the best is yet to come. I loved my boyfriend at the time, and will always love him to some extent, but I need to live in the present and look forward to all of the love I can give and receive now and in the future.
President Monson said it best when he said, "The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it."
So that is exactly what I will do.
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